April Challenge: The Crust

Posted on April 19, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

We must accept a universal truth: Kids don’t like to eat the crust. An endless battle for parents, this truth is a powerful tool for meeting goals.

Be it toast, peanut butter and jelly, grilled cheese or otherwise, kids have always preferred the core over the crust. It is not hard to understand why. Experience has proven to all of us that the soft part of the bread has the best texture, the freshest taste and is the easiest to chew. Even as adults, many of us still pick the soft core out of fresh bread served in high-end restaurants. We’ll never admit it to our kids, but we all know it’s true!

I find that a child’s approach to eating a sandwich is the roadmap to success in achieving goals. To the child, there is no sorrow for what they didn’t eat. Instead, they celebrate every bite of what they wanted to eat! They eat in perfect contentment until they are full, and then they leave the rest behind. Usually, the remains are not pretty; picked over and mangled like a wild animal came and plucked all the best parts out.

The same should be true of our goals. Goals are meant to be enjoyed. They should feed the body, mind and spirit and help us grow over time. While it is easy to build a goal that looks wonderful (like a good sandwich), finishing that goal is not always uniformly enjoyable. There are parts that we really like and parts that we don’t like that much. As adults, we try to force ourselves through what we don’t like by using discipline, logic and will power. Parents use the same tactics when trying to get their kids to eat the crust. And often, like parents, we find ourselves frustrated and defeated when our tactics don’t work. Even worse, we look back on the whole experience as a failure. Rather than approach our goals like the parent, I advocate that we approach them like the child.

Our April Challenge is entering its final week. Some of us may feel proud of our progress while others may feel discouraged. If challenges or doubts tempt you to quit or feel ashamed, remember what generations of children have taught us about bread: it is better to enjoy what we eat than it is to finish it all.

We all set goals that we knew we would enjoy. We spent three weeks overcoming distractions and making progress together. We must not let shame spoil the taste now! Keep working, keep growing, and enjoy every bite. After all, the best part of any sandwich is the core – not the crust!

April Challenge: Delightful Distractions

Posted on April 7, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

Distractions are innumerable, ever-present and fully unavoidable. Anyone who says we should ‘avoid distractions’ is clearly not living in the same world as the rest of us. Reaching goals is about managing and prioritizing distractions without losing sight of the original objective.

Success is not found by avoiding distractions, but rather by acknowledging them for what they are – options. And like all options, distractions can be acted upon or ignored. While distractions may masquerade as obligations or demands, the fundamental difference is that distractions lose power over time.

As an example, an electric bill is an obligation. If you ignore it, it does not go away – your lights do. In contrast, an incoming call on your cell phone is NOT an obligation. If you ignore it, it will likely go to voicemail or come back as a text message. While I am not advocating that we ignore every call or jump up to immediately pay our electric bill, the comparison is sound.

When we work toward a goal we must give ourselves permission to prioritize the goal first. By doing so, we take power away from distractions before they even present themselves. Commitment to the goal gives us the space we need to see distractions as options rather than obligations. This is especially important when you encounter a distraction that could benefit your goal. For example, while cooking your grandma’s soup recipe you see an incoming call from grandma! Eureka! Answer the call and talk to the source directly – this distraction benefits your goal.

Last week I invited anyone reading this blog to pick a goal for April. Many did, and I invite those participants to give us updates using the comment box below. For those that did not set a goal last week, I wonder how many thought, ‘I should pick a goal,’ only then to have a distraction divert their attention elsewhere. If that happened to you, that is totally okay! Share your goal now and commit to it – there are still plenty of days left to complete the April challenge.

Distractions can be overwhelming; we all know it. Rather than let ourselves feel obligated to them, let us instead see them for what they are – optional. We are obligated to our goals; the distractions are just jealous. Let them be.

Spies Like Me

Posted on February 24, 2017March 3, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

I was a covert intelligence officer for the US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) living and operating under cover for nearly a decade. SPOILER ALERT – spying is not like you see in the movies. Yes, we get code names. Yes, we travel around the world on someone else’s dime. No, we do not drive nice cars. No, we do not get cutting-edge tech that fits inside a watch. But the most important thing to understand about spies is this – we are alone and we hate it.

In 2011 I was called to serve in a countersurveillance operation in a large metropolitan city in Asia. I was briefed only on the details I needed to know and given two pictures – one of the foreign agent and one of a fellow CIA officer traveling to meet the agent. My objective was to blend in with the crowd and keep a watchful eye from a distance for anyone taking a suspicious interest in the agent meeting.

Another difference from the movies is that spying is not glamorous. We do not wear bespoke suits and drink martinis while rubbing elbows with social elites. Spies are more like drug dealers, digging around in dark, dirty places selling treason to bad people. By virtue of the people we do business with, security is the top priority during operations. A spy that gets caught is an international incident. A spy that gets away lives to spy another day.

I tracked my targets on foot as they travelled through public venues engaged in hushed espionage. After nearly two hours, the two parted ways and I continued my look out to make sure neither was followed in their departure. Success – my mission was complete and I could start my own trip back home.

On that trip home I was struck by an urgent idea; I needed to leave CIA. Spies do not live in the real world. We operate in alias names, operate in cities where we do not live, and befriend people we do not like. Because of this parallel existence, spies only do what has to be done to maintain security rather than take risks to pursue great achievements. There are of course exceptions to the rule; the few outstanding officers who are selfless and uniquely dedicated in service to their country. But as with any other workplace, the few are not the norm.

I left CIA because I believed that ambition and passion would lead to a better life while security and secrecy would end only in loneliness. I believed that I needed genuine relationships to shape me into the person I was meant to be. Complacency is a slow infection – it robs us of creativity, passion and purpose and convinces us that we cannot be who we want to be; cannot do what we want to do; and cannot achieve what we want to achieve.

Just like popular movies glorify the life of spies, popular culture glorifies the life of those who ‘fit in.’ Both are works of fiction. Many of us live like spies, choosing to conceal our identity in order to blend in with the world around us. Rather than commit ourselves to great achievement, we instead do only what we must to maintain a sense of security while surrounded by people we do not like, engaged in work that does not challenge us. We justify our actions by calling them ‘responsible decisions,’ or ‘social obligations,’ or ‘necessary steps’. In the end, however – just like so many spies – we feel alone and we hate it.

Me.Now. invites all people living like spies to realize the possibilities of a deliberate life; to write a story for ourselves. Complacency is a perpetual foe that seeks to divide rather than unite. Like a spy, we are only alone for as long as we choose to stay in hiding. Once we choose to give up our cover and step into reality, we can find a community that enables us to achieve great things and a better future.

Ditching Discouragement

Posted on February 15, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

Discouragement is difficult and very real. It is often the elephant in the room, standing alone and unmentioned for fear that acknowledging its existence might make it rage. While looking away from it might help us feel safe, the fact is that we benefit more by facing it head-on and forcing it out of our space.

This week was painfully discouraging for me. Even while celebrating my son’s 4^th birthday and seeing him well over with joy, my heart was suffering from multiple conversations that had shaken my confidence, courage and optimism. My work to grow the Me.Now. Movement was at the core of my discouragement after feeling the movement come under criticism, doubt, and even perceived attack from outside. In addition to my own setbacks, I saw some of my closest friends and peers experience hurdles of their own professionally, personally and with loved ones. From within my turmoil I felt compelled to confront my discouragement openly in this post, in the hopes that others might find comfort in knowing how I deal with discouragement.

In January of 2011, less than six weeks after moving to Thailand with my wife, I contracted Dengue Fever from an infected mosquito. Known as ‘Bone Break Fever’, Dengue Fever infects up to 100 Million people each year and has no known cure. Symptoms vary slightly but share one common factor – extreme pain. Headaches, joint pain and muscle pain are at the core of dengue symptoms along with uncontrollable fevers, rashes and bouts of fatigue. A healthy 30yr old American male, the disease wrecked me physically. I spent 7 consecutive days sleeping in fits, fighting off a 104 degree fever, and rejecting all food. All my wife could do for me was mix water and Gatorade together to keep me from dehydrating while the fever ran its course. My weight dropped rapidly and my confidence went with it. When I finally pulled myself out of bed on day 8, the mirror looked back with hollow cheeks and sunken eyes.

My fear that first day out of bed was that I would never get back to the level of health I had before dengue. Also on my mind was the fact that should I contract Dengue Fever a second time, my chances for survival would drop by about 5% and leave me vulnerable to a hemorrhagic fever – one where the autoimmune system cannot fight off the disease. I was overwhelmed with discouragement. Unlike the United States, Southeast Asia never implemented mosquito control measures to fight off or eliminate the disease. Living and traveling in Thailand would pose a constant threat of repeat infection.

I had two options at this point: give in to the discouragement and live in fear of another infection, or face my discouragement head-on to live the life I wanted. When facing debilitating fear, there can only be one answer – fight. Only fighting gives you the hope of winning. Giving up is a guaranteed loss. So I fought.

My body recovered fairly quickly in terms of energy levels and flexibility. While it took me 2 years to gain back the weight that I had lost, I was able to start running again within just a few months. When I look back at photos before and after my stint with dengue, I see the impact from that one little bite. But when I look back on the story of my life, I am so glad that I did not let discouragement change my course.

Stubborn Sauce

Posted on January 20, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

My wife refuses to eat white chicken meat without BBQ sauce. For seven years now I’ve made space on her dinner plate for the customary pour of sauce, regardless of what else might be served along with her meat. The smile that stretches across her face every time she dips her bite ensures I’ll be doing this routine well into old age. Our list of tried and yet-to-be-tasted BBQ sauces is long, mostly due to our son’s love for dark chicken meat… no sauce. While our little family does its bit to keep the poultry and BBQ sauce markets humming, I can’t help but wonder about the sauce. Her stubborn sauce.

What is stubborn sauce? When the extra that is supposed to compliment the main becomes more important than the main itself, that is stubborn sauce. It’s easy to see how silly stubborn sauce is when we witness a child reject their hamburger because it doesn’t have ketchup or toss a piece of toast because it doesn’t have jam. But the truth is that the impact of stubborn sauce goes far beyond our plates and stomachs.

My stubborn sauce is not edible. For me, it is a part of my history; the part that describes how and why relationships and dialogue became so important to me. I have been so concerned about sharing those details that I end up undermining the power of my story as a whole. The more I insist on having my stubborn sauce, the less I get to enjoy sharing my story. It is no different than my wife and her healthy white meat. The photographer who never submits a photo because it isn’t perfect knows stubborn sauce. The blogger who fills their DRAFTs folder but not their live blog knows stubborn sauce also. Anyone who ‘would have’, ‘could have’, ‘should have’ or ‘may have’ has stood in line with me, hungry for our portion of stubborn sauce.

Yet like every good bottle of BBQ sauce, stubborn sauce can run out – if you let it. The only thing standing between white chicken meat and my wife’s digestive system is her. It is her choice. The only thing standing between me and the full potential of my story is the same… me.

Me.Now. is not about what was, but rather what can be. It is about realizing that stubborn sauce does nothing except take away the opportunity for each of us to enjoy something great. One day somebody made a hamburger for dinner and imagined a wonderful quiet evening with a beer, a burger and their favorite TV show. When they opened the fridge, imagine their disappointment when they discovered there was no ketchup. Rather than give up on the night, that person reached across the mayo, mustard and relish to grab a tall red bottle with SRIRACHA on the side. Did they know how it would turn out? Nope. But trying a new sauce is always better than losing a hamburger.

Celebrate the Victories

Posted on January 13, 2017January 13, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

I’ll never understand why I chose to run my first (and only!) ultramarathon at 31 years old in the sweltering heat of Thailand. Maybe it was the result of too many Singha beers and sweaty nights after living 2 years in Thailand’s capital city, Bangkok. Maybe I should blame my triathlete friend who found the race, gave me the idea and promised to run with me. Whatever the reason, I found myself standing at a starting line with 200 runners, one friend and a random Japanese tourist decked in Hello Kitty attire at 5am on a steamy morning in 2012.

An active runner since high-school, I learned early on that my running talent is utterly average. I continued to run through college and my late 20’s mainly as a means to meet girls and prevent the proverbial man-belly. My health history in Thailand had been less than ideal, plagued with instances of food poisoning, foot injuries and a scary stint with Dengue Fever – a mosquito born disease that cost me significant weight loss the previous year. I suppose this race offered me an opportunity to reclaim some of the magic I felt had been lost to a desk job, entering my 30s and suffering a handful of health setbacks.

Victory – that feeling of winning – is an important motivator for all of us. It gives us the sense that our time and effort counted for something. History teaches us that, ‘to the victor go the spoils,’ and we are encouraged to pursue, ‘Victory at all costs!’ With all the pomp and rhetoric, the real value of victory is lost. Thinking that victory is a conclusion diminishes its utility for the future. Rather than treat victory as a single achievement that marks the end of an endeavor, I propose that we consider victory a mile marker on a larger journey for growth.

My first few steps after the starting gun on that humid morning in 2012 were a victory for me. Every morning run, epsom salt bath, healthy dinner and supportive word from my wife gave me hope and encouragement to train another day for a race that was way out of my league. Before the race ever began, the workouts alone had returned me to health, brought me new friendships, inspired others to exercise and given me renewed confidence. All these were victories, too.

50 kilometers later, after 5 grueling hours running past Buddhist temples, through banana plantations, coconut groves and white sand beaches I crossed the finish line. The race was one of attrition; nearly half of the runners had dropped out of the race by the time I had finished. The heat, distance between support stations and challenging terrain favored tenacity over form. Looking forward to my complimentary Thai massage and chicken fried rice, you can imagine my surprise when I was called to the stage and awarded the 3^rd place finisher medal. While my amateur running career started and ended that day, my journey continues and I always remember to celebrate the victories.

Revolutionary Evolution

Posted on January 5, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

There is a special, productive relationship between evolution and revolution. In preparing for this post I was surprised to find that a number of articles argue the opposite – that revolution and evolution are diametrically opposed. Technocrats, theologians and even anarchists agree that the benefits of evolution contradict the benefits of revolution, and vice versa. Realizing that each person will come to their own conclusions, this post is dedicated to those willing to consider revolutionary evolution as a path to great achievement.

Evolution is defined as, ‘the development of something from a simple to a complex form.’ Evolution is a slow, steady change agent that seeks continual improvement. Consider your daily routine as an example. With each new life change, our daily routines are impacted and we suffer a period of transition: a change of season, a new job, a new child, etc. Few sit down and create a plan to account for the changes. Instead, we trust that a new routine will evolve naturally over time. Evolution is the guarantee that perseverance will yield improvement.

Revolution is defined as, ‘a forcible overthrow in favor of a new system.’ Unlike evolution, revolution is the deliberate choice to pursue something new. When we find ourselves in a situation that we do not want, where we do not thrive, or where we feel confined, we always have the option to revolt. Similarly, if we find a new system that we prefer (new job, new partner, new place) we also have the option to revolt and leave the old behind. Whether expressed as words, actions or both, revolution is the promise of freedom.

The partnership of both concepts together gives us the confidence to persist (evolution) and the freedom to change course (revolution). While conventional thought dictates that we must choose between the two, the greatest success awaits those who can leverage both. Nowhere is this truth more apparent than in goal setting.

Too often, the journey of goal setting is neutered down to simple pass-fail criteria; Meet the goal = pass, Miss the goal = fail. I argue that goal setting is revolutionary evolution at its best! A person makes a New Year’s resolution to lose 30 pounds. During their weight loss routine, they discover a passion for running – EVOLUTION! Their passion connects them to a new group of friends and inspires a new healthy lifestyle – REVOLUTION! One year later, the person’s body has been transformed to support their fitness but they only lost 20 lbs. Pass-fail criteria has no place among great achievements.

In 1968, an engineer named Spencer Silver was ridiculed when he did not meet his goal to create a powerful new adhesive. Despite repeated demonstrations that his new adhesive had value, his career and reputation suffered because others judged his goal to be a failure. Six years later, a colleague named Art Fry attended one of Spencer’s demonstrations and realized the importance of Spencer’s new invention. It was immediately patented and trademarked as The Post-It Note. That ‘failure’ now earns the company 3M $1 billion a year.

Evolution will bring revolution, and revolution lays the foundation for new evolution. Trust your journey and seek out those who recognize the value of your effort. Failure is a simple concept for simple thinking; it does not account for growth, challenge, or impact. Me.Now. has launched a revolution against simple thinking. All are welcome to evolve with us.

Mounting Momentum

Posted on December 23, 2016December 23, 2016 by Andrew Bustamante

Momentum is a powerful force. Whether looking through the lens of physical science or sports fan terminology, momentum always includes two key principles: movement and strength. Me.Now. shares the same principles and dedicates this blog to looking back on 30 days worth of mounting momentum.

In the days and weeks before launching Me.Now. I felt a building momentum; the momentum against launching the site. The unspoken reality of momentum is that it can work both for us and against us. In my case, a series of technology challenges, time demands, professional commitments and flat out personal doubts had created a tidal wave of reasons against launching and pursuing my dream for the Me.Now. Movement. I was hounded by fears of embarrassment, failure and the possibility of wasted time and energy. Fortunately, I had a network of supporters that encouraged me to keep pushing forward despite what I perceived to be mounting odds against me.

Looking at Me.Now. today, I see a whole different momentum building. Our community continues to grow and website visits have entered consistently into the double-digits daily. One in our ranks has had a breakthrough victory and has promised a testimonial to share the success with the rest of us. New members in the movement have found renewed confidence and excitement to pursue passions and interests that only weeks ago seemed evasive or unrealistic. Even this small blog has had feedback and praise exponentially more positive than I could have ever imagined. Where many of us once felt alone in discouragement and doubt, now we find courage and hope as we gather together.

For those members, mentors, and curious few reading this post, Me.Now. has a promise for you. We will not let this mounting momentum go to waste. Me.Now. has plans to reach out locally, increase social media engagement, create compelling content and boldly share our message of confidence, encouragement, and community as we enter the new year. Your support as early adopters has made these first 30 days possible! Me.Now. is committed to carrying the momentum you’ve built into the coming months and beyond.

We are seeing the impact of positive momentum. If you find inspiration in these posts and pages, know that you are always welcome here and can Join Us anytime. If you are unsure about joining but want to aid in our vision, feel free to share our message using the social media shortcuts on this page or by subscribing to the blog. Anything is possible as 2016 fades away and 2017 prepares its grand entrance. Me.Now. looks forward to celebrating the possibilities with all of you.