April Challenge: Delightful Distractions

Posted on April 7, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

Distractions are innumerable, ever-present and fully unavoidable. Anyone who says we should ‘avoid distractions’ is clearly not living in the same world as the rest of us. Reaching goals is about managing and prioritizing distractions without losing sight of the original objective.

Success is not found by avoiding distractions, but rather by acknowledging them for what they are – options. And like all options, distractions can be acted upon or ignored. While distractions may masquerade as obligations or demands, the fundamental difference is that distractions lose power over time.

As an example, an electric bill is an obligation. If you ignore it, it does not go away – your lights do. In contrast, an incoming call on your cell phone is NOT an obligation. If you ignore it, it will likely go to voicemail or come back as a text message. While I am not advocating that we ignore every call or jump up to immediately pay our electric bill, the comparison is sound.

When we work toward a goal we must give ourselves permission to prioritize the goal first. By doing so, we take power away from distractions before they even present themselves. Commitment to the goal gives us the space we need to see distractions as options rather than obligations. This is especially important when you encounter a distraction that could benefit your goal. For example, while cooking your grandma’s soup recipe you see an incoming call from grandma! Eureka! Answer the call and talk to the source directly – this distraction benefits your goal.

Last week I invited anyone reading this blog to pick a goal for April. Many did, and I invite those participants to give us updates using the comment box below. For those that did not set a goal last week, I wonder how many thought, ‘I should pick a goal,’ only then to have a distraction divert their attention elsewhere. If that happened to you, that is totally okay! Share your goal now and commit to it – there are still plenty of days left to complete the April challenge.

Distractions can be overwhelming; we all know it. Rather than let ourselves feel obligated to them, let us instead see them for what they are – optional. We are obligated to our goals; the distractions are just jealous. Let them be.

April Challenge: Pirate Booty!

Posted on March 30, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

Achievement is not a solo sport. While individual success presses well in media channels and on magazine covers, accomplishment always springs from community. For some, community is a team. For others it’s friends, family, partners or peers. Whatever form community takes, it is undeniable that our odds for success increase significantly when work together.

While many of us already know this to be true, we continue to make goal setting a private affair. We somehow believe that keeping our goals and ambitions secret will lessen personal risk; that the fear of public failure is greater than the power of public support. Nothing could be further from the truth. To demonstrate this point, I’m willing to bet my reputation and my blog!

APRIL CHALLENGE: I challenge everyone reading this blog to set a goal for April, share that goal in the comments section of this post, and leverage this blog as a forum to encourage others and find encouragement to accomplish that goal on or before April 30, 2017.

HOW IT WORKS: I will release a new post each week in April that builds on our collective effort to meet the goals we set. Using the comments section below the post, participants engaging in the challenge can communicate with me directly and/or with one another by selecting “Notify me of follow-up comments by email.” Our ongoing dialogue and goal updates throughout April will be available to anyone following the Me.Now. blog, inspiring readers and giving participants the encouragement of a supportive virtual community.

MY PERSONAL GOAL: I’ll set my goal now and enlist myself as the first participant!

GOAL: I will write 5 consecutive blog posts before April 30, 2017 that give practical guidance on how to set, maintain and achieve goals.

SET YOUR GOAL: As the first post in the series I committed to above, I will share my suggestions on how to set goals that self-motivate rather than self-shame. I call this technique ‘P-I-R-A-T-E booty’!

P – Precise: Make the goal clear and concise using simple language. Clarity and precision make recall easy, and it helps prevent from the temptation to find/make a loop-hole as a way out.

I – Individual: Tailor your goal to yourself. When someone else sets goals for us, we do not fully invest in the goal itself. Instead, make your goal about you, empower yourself and ignore the peanut gallery!

R – Relevant: Life changes fast. The best goals make sense right now. While it’s always nice to plan for the future, it is often more rewarding to live for today. For this challenge, we’re looking to show success in 30 days or less – we’re pitching a tent here, not building a fortress.

A – Achievable: I am a sucker for setting goals that are unrealistic. I try to ‘stretch’ myself with a goal that is just beyond reach and then I feel like a failure when I fall short. Learn from me, save yourself the ‘booty’ pain, and set a goal that is achievable. One goal – make it realistic.

T – Timely: This one is a freebie! I set the timeline at 30 days for all of us. It is important to give a specific timeframe for goals so that we can plan, assess and make changes as needed. Additionally, clear start and end times give the goal boundaries and keep it from mutating into something scary.

E – Entertaining: Make it fun! If you don’t like to work out, then don’t work out. If you don’t like to eat carrots, then don’t eat carrots. If reaching the goal doesn’t bring you joy, then it’s easy to decide to stop trying. Instead, make the goal entertaining and the process will be just as enjoyable as the accomplishment.

I wish all those who join me in the ‘April Challenge’ good luck! I am already excited to see our progress over the month. Help me show everyone reading now and in the future that success comes from community!

Breaking Point

Posted on March 23, 2017 by Andrew Bustamante

We all have a breaking point. We don’t like to admit it, but that doesn’t make it any less true. While common conventions are that breaking means we are weak, stupid or lazy, I’d offer instead that breaking is what allows us to shed what was and build what will be. Without breaking points, snakes would be trapped in skin too small, butterflies would wither inside cocoons, and new trees would starve in shadows on the forest floor.

I was broken this week and I am thankful for it. A confluence of illness within my household left me serving as nurse, chauffeur, and janitor for my wife and son as we visited urgent care, primary care, and the All Children’s hospital over the last seven days. My son developed pneumonia after a particularly severe allergy season. His pneumonia resulted in matching sinus and ear infections over the course of his treatment – compounding his required medications and his own discomfort. My pregnant wife, having just re-discovered morning sickness in her second trimester, picked up her own upper respiratory bug along the way and found herself undernourished and painfully congested. For seven days my family didn’t sleep, barely ate, and sought what comfort they could in the light of a TV that droned endlessly in the background. I prayed I would stay healthy long enough to get one of the two of them back to normal.

We live in Florida and are a proud sailing family. Our area, Tampa Bay, is consistently recognized in the top 3 places to sail in the United States. In 2015 I took a 7 day advanced sailing course. Expecting a cushy summer vacation, my trip was rocked by 5 days of uncharacteristically blustery, cold rain storms and rough water. Any hope of rest and relaxation was gone by dawn of the third day when I dressed in the same cold, wet rain-gear from the previous two days to embark on another day of high winds and cold spray. For seven days I didn’t sleep, barely ate, and sought what comfort I could on the high-side of the boat where the seasickness was minimized by fresh breeze. I was broken.

I recalled that boat trip in 2015 while holding my son, shivering in his 103 degree fever, sideways in front of an x-ray machine at Johns Hopkins All Children’s hospital on the 5^th day of his sickness. I found a certain peace when I realized that this bout of illness, like that terrible wind and rain in 2015, would pass. All storms pass.

During a storm, things break – ask any sailor and they will agree. But rather than focus on what breaks, the defining mark of a seaman is what they choose to do when the storm ends. Some are fearful of the water for the rest of their lives. They stay in their slip when the wind is up and opt for an engine over a sail when they see whitecaps on the waves. But the courageous few, those who travel across oceans in personal sailboats through squalls and seas as tall as buildings – they experience life unbridled. Rather than fold their sails and return to the dock, they pick up where they left off when the storm hit. Nothing keeps them from their destination.

Everybody has a breaking point. The question is what will you do when you are broken and tired after the storms pass?

Resolute Resolve

Posted on December 29, 2016 by Andrew Bustamante

The most intense, focused resolve that I ever witnessed came in the form of a K9 police dog takedown. As part of a military training exercise in 2003, I watched a military police trained German Shepherd sight, close, and attack a mock-suspect. What impressed me the most during the demo was not the control and precision of the K9 handler, but rather the unwavering commitment from the animal to complete its assigned task. The dog moved like a targeted missile, closing the distance quickly without a moment’s hesitation after being given the command. It struck the mock-suspect hard, dedicating every bit of strength, focus, and ferocity to neutralizing the perceived threat.

For those watching with me, we knew how the exercise would end. The whole scenario was rigged, after all. The suspect was wearing a padded suit, knew where the animal would strike, and had multiple safety spotters – to include the K9 handling officer. It was an exercise with a limited time-frame where nobody was going to get hurt. After a few seconds, the K9 officer would give the stop command and the audience would smile and praise the impressive display. We all knew that… except the dog. For the dog, there was no ‘routine exercise’. The dog had one objective only: takedown the target by any means necessary. For the animal, the padded suits, staged theatrics, and amused spectators were inconsequential to the decision to attack.

With 2017 upon us and the question of what (if any?) resolutions to set, I find myself taking a lesson from that brave police dog. Too often we treat the changes we want to make as if they are only exercises or experiments; demonstrations for a closed audience and a limited time. We become distracted by fear, fun, or frustration and lose some of our original commitment to the objective. This year, I challenge all people to consider their goals through the lens of that K9, where success is the only option. We all want to overcome some aspect of our life that keeps us from where we want to be. This year, I propose we attack that goal with ferocity and resolve that is blind to distraction.

Before we all bolt off with teeth bared and hair raised, keep in mind that no K9 operates alone. Every dog has a K9 handler and only together are the pair an effective team. They train, sleep, eat, live and serve together. They are family, friends and partners. The community they have with one another is what allows them to stare fear in the face and stand resolute. As you consider the fight ahead to reach your ambitions, know that our community is ready to stand with you. Resolve is always greater together.