An article for Pen-Chant Magazine and the Malayalee Association of Tampa.

Where did daring go? Whether a childhood game (‘I double dog dare you!’) or the character trait of an adventurous spirit, daring used to be something that people valued.

Today, daring is something many of us avoid in the hope that someone else will take the risk. Instead of one child daring another to climb a tree outside, both children sit indoors entertained by their parent’s tablet. Instead of one adolescent daring to stand up to a bully, that same adolescent bottles their frustration and seeks comfort in a virtual gaming world. Instead of daring to seek fulfilling work, career professionals drown dissatisfying work-lives in reality TV, social media memes and even substance abuse. It is important to remember that risk, rather than compliance, is what brings reward.

Our history and our future are written by those who dare to dare; the daring few who challenge the status quo with new ideas that carry the power to change paradigms. Civil rights, women’s suffrage, child labor laws and international human rights are incredible achievements owed to those who dared to challenge the norm at a time when no one else would. Personal computers, cellular phones, mobile internet and virtual reality exist today because of those who dared to believe science fiction could be made real.

I am a parent. And like many parents, I feel the pressure to protect and support my children. I feel a responsibility to mold them into contributing members of society. But the truth is that my understanding of society is limited to the present, and getting older by the minute. If I form my child to fit the world of today, then they will never be able to shape the world of tomorrow. If I am an example of compliance and conformity, then my children will learn to value compromise over courage. Like all parents, I have infinite faith in my children’s future. But the only way to give them confidence in their own future is to demonstrate for them the confidence I have in my own. I must dare to dare.

We no longer live in a time where information is limited. Media is unrestricted and takes advantage of freedoms that often harm as much as they help. While much of the curiosity and cause for daring can seem lost in today’s interconnected world, I would argue that the hostility, fear and anger present in our world demonstrates a unique need for daring. The world needs those who dare to dare for good; who dare to dare for knowledge; who dare to dare for freedom and courage and community. And the best way to inspire a generation of daring heroes is to be a daring example.

Our lives have been graced by those who dared to dare. If we hope to leave a better world for those who follow us, we must follow in daring footsteps. There is incredible potential for justice, innovation, community and technology still ahead of us. What we consider to be fiction and fantasy can become real if the right people dare to make it so. And it falls to each of us to inspire and cultivate brave, new generations that dare to dare.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedinmail

 

Everyone is seeking the recipe for success. During an unexpected trip to Uruguay this week, a small-time chef with a five star smile shared his recipe with me.

Chef Luis didn’t teach me his secret in English or Spanish. He used the universal language of Paella. Paella is an ancient food, estimated to have originated circa 1000 years ago. Found in the Middle East, Europe, Africa and South America, Paella is made with a multitude of different ingredients unique to each region but with one common component – an over-sized frying pan known as the ‘patella’. When I crossed paths with Chef Luis at 10am in the riverside city of Colonia, he was pouring a 5 gallon bucket of seafood and vegetables into his patella. He smiled at me and my travel mate and told us, ‘Come back at 12:30pm – it will be ready.’

This post marks my last for the April Challenge series. Those participating in the challenge have shared trials, victories and frustrations along the way. Through it all, however, we find ourselves together now at the finish line! For some of us, we are excited that we met our original goal on time. For others, we discovered that there is power in allowing ourselves to adjust objectives midway without shame or embarrassment. And still more of us may choose to continue our April goal into May to see it to completion. Herein lies our ‘patella,’ the key universal component: growth happens during the journey, not at the destination.

Chef Luis was true to his word and at 12:30pm he handed us two small plates to sample his freshly made Paella. Gorgeous saffron-colored rice bursting with mussels, clams, squid, shrimp and fish commanded my full attention. The taste was exquisite; complex and hearty with flavors that sang of coastal waters and local farms. But the most amazing thing was that my tutor/chef had done it all without a recipe. The day’s catch, a few South American staples (corn, peppers, rice) and the steady hand of a committed cook were his script for success.

A goal, like a recipe, can be simultaneously comforting and intimidating. But like the best meals often come without a recipe, so too are the most impactful goals often borne from the heart. It is unheard of to discard a partially cooked meal because of a missing ingredient or an unexpected delay, yet we often justify abandoning our goals for exactly those reasons. Wherever you stand today with the April Challenge, know that you are the chef and the world will be inspired by your passion. Never stop cooking.

My sincerest thanks to Chef Luis of Restaurante Rio De La Plata!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedinmail

 

Achievement is not a solo sport. While individual success presses well in media channels and on magazine covers, accomplishment always springs from community. For some, community is a team. For others it’s friends, family, partners or peers. Whatever form community takes, it is undeniable that our odds for success increase significantly when work together.

While many of us already know this to be true, we continue to make goal setting a private affair. We somehow believe that keeping our goals and ambitions secret will lessen personal risk; that the fear of public failure is greater than the power of public support. Nothing could be further from the truth. To demonstrate this point, I’m willing to bet my reputation and my blog!

APRIL CHALLENGE: I challenge everyone reading this blog to set a goal for April, share that goal in the comments section of this post, and leverage this blog as a forum to encourage others and find encouragement to accomplish that goal on or before April 30, 2017.

HOW IT WORKS: I will release a new post each week in April that builds on our collective effort to meet the goals we set. Using the comments section below the post, participants engaging in the challenge can communicate with me directly and/or with one another by selecting “Notify me of follow-up comments by email.” Our ongoing dialogue and goal updates throughout April will be available to anyone following the Me.Now. blog, inspiring readers and giving participants the encouragement of a supportive virtual community.

MY PERSONAL GOAL: I’ll set my goal now and enlist myself as the first participant!

GOAL: I will write 5 consecutive blog posts before April 30, 2017 that give practical guidance on how to set, maintain and achieve goals.   

SET YOUR GOAL: As the first post in the series I committed to above, I will share my suggestions on how to set goals that self-motivate rather than self-shame. I call this technique ‘P-I-R-A-T-E booty’!

P – Precise: Make the goal clear and concise using simple language. Clarity and precision make recall easy, and it helps prevent from the temptation to find/make a loop-hole as a way out.

I – Individual: Tailor your goal to yourself. When someone else sets goals for us, we do not fully invest in the goal itself. Instead, make your goal about you, empower yourself and ignore the peanut gallery!

R – Relevant: Life changes fast. The best goals make sense right now. While it’s always nice to plan for the future, it is often more rewarding to live for today. For this challenge, we’re looking to show success in 30 days or less – we’re pitching a tent here, not building a fortress.

A – Achievable: I am a sucker for setting goals that are unrealistic. I try to ‘stretch’ myself with a goal that is just beyond reach and then I feel like a failure when I fall short. Learn from me, save yourself the ‘booty’ pain, and set a goal that is achievable. One goal – make it realistic.

T – Timely: This one is a freebie! I set the timeline at 30 days for all of us. It is important to give a specific timeframe for goals so that we can plan, assess and make changes as needed. Additionally, clear start and end times give the goal boundaries and keep it from mutating into something scary.

E – Entertaining: Make it fun! If you don’t like to work out, then don’t work out. If you don’t like to eat carrots, then don’t eat carrots. If reaching the goal doesn’t bring you joy, then it’s easy to decide to stop trying. Instead, make the goal entertaining and the process will be just as enjoyable as the accomplishment.

I wish all those who join me in the ‘April Challenge’ good luck! I am already excited to see our progress over the month. Help me show everyone reading now and in the future that success comes from community!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditlinkedinmail