There are not words to adequately express my thanks as I look back over the first year of the Me.Now. Movement. A year ago, I was an idealist with no experience managing a website or writing blog posts. Today, I am a published author and award-winning speaker with a new daughter, midway through my MBA. Allowing myself to value ‘Me’, and to take action ‘Now’ has given me courage and opportunity I never knew before. And for those who have journeyed with me, I know the same is true for you.

With the new year fast approaching, I am eager to share that new opportunities continue to present themselves for our community! Podcast hosts, bloggers and event coordinators have started reaching out to me for interviews and speaking engagements for 2018. One particularly exciting development happened in late November 2017 when I was approached by two separate casting agencies for large-scale, national television production projects. While I’ve always felt comfortable behind a keyboard or on a stage, the challenge of preparing myself to talk in front of a camera was humbling and unnerving. I cannot share details of either project at this point, but I promise to update this group as soon as possible after I find out if either, neither or both opportunities choose to move me forward! 

To wrap up 2017, I am excited to revisit the 4 goals we set for this first year and happy to report that 3 of those goals have been met or exceeded. I will have to challenge us further to reach new heights in 2018!

  1. Grow the movement by 1 member per week in 2017.
    STATUS: Our Movement has grown to 78 active members and more than 100 followers. That is 340% above our objective! We’ve seen members change careers, grow families, start new businesses and achieve new healthy lifestyles. The message behind the Me.Now. Movement is stronger than ever because of the courage, commitment and community this group represents.
  2. Gain exposure for the Movement on 1 public media outlet in 2017.
    STATUS: The Me.Now. Movement has gained exposure in newsprint, multiple podcasts, and two separate news media interviews! It would appear that our original goal was not as aggressive as I had thought. Once the Movement’s mission was shared, it quickly grew momentum among those eager to build a better future.
  3. Generate $5,000 in income to grow the Movement in 2017.
    STATUS: Unfortunately, this goal was missed in 2017. With just under $4,000 generated, our Movement was able to grow considerably in terms of professionalization and promotion. Despite missing our financial target, I am confident that 2018 will come with new avenues to raise the capital we need to keep growing!
  4. Write 1 blog post a week on the Me.Now. Movement website in 2017.
    STATUS: Our weekly blog posts continued through October 2017, at which point a new opportunity arose to translate blog content into book publication. After a few discouraging obstacles, I was successful in getting ‘Everyday Espionage: Winning the Workplace’ published as an eBook with a limited print edition. Many of you reading this post have that hard-copy print edition in your possession. A second installment is already in the works for 2018 and I am excited to keep growing our Movement’s legacy! 

We are one year closer to where we want to be. Even though the destination is unclear, the progress is undeniable. I continue to find my inspiration from this group and from those of you taking risks and seeing achievement along side me. For all of you, I am grateful and humbled to call you friends. 

For those exploring the Me.Now. Movement, welcome. For those ready to commit to your journey, I commend you! And for those who trek every day through the fear and doubt of accomplishment, I and others stand beside you to lift you up and celebrate your success. Journey on.

One Life. No Compromises.

 

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A woman stood in front of me yesterday and said, “I want to quit school. What can you say to keep me in school?”

I told her that quitting is always an option, and it is a popular option. And when things get difficult and we get tired, the option to quit becomes even more appealing. But those who persevere through doubt become the hope for others. And hope can stand out.

I told her that something once inspired her to go to school, and that the ambition to finish is still inside her. When we quit, ambition does not go away. Instead, we leave it in darkness and look away. But ambition is like a light. And light can stand out.

The oceans are full of boats that travel near and far. And when night falls or storm clouds darken the sky, sailors seek a light on the shore to guide them home; to bring them hope. Each of us has the option to be the lighthouse that guides others or be the boat lost at sea. We all have the option to quit. We also have the option to stand out.

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This week reminded me of a post I wrote back in January 2017 – Celebrate the Victories. My week was packed with new baby challenges, grad school finals, public speaking engagements and the routine joys of a day job. By the grace of a loving wife and good fortune, I have a few minutes to write this post before settling in for a weekend with the family and the start of a new graduate school semester.

It is easy to become overwhelmed by our desire to achieve, and to forget to celebrate the victories we have along the way. Such was the case for me this week, when I found myself stressed and panicked on Thursday afternoon, certain that I was going to fail one of the many obligations I had still ahead of me. And in that place of fear and doubt, my mind landed on the idea that even if I did fail to meet my goals this week, I had come so far already. Challenges and opportunities can equally be perceived as burdens or blessings. And when we forget to celebrate victories, we find ourselves increasingly burdened and decreasingly blessed.

While I felt buried by the opportunities facing me, afraid of failure and embarrassment, my fear lifted when I realized that the challenges I was facing were instigated by my own successes. Victories are important. They pick us up, give us perspective, and motivate us to keep persevering. Great achievements are not borne from fear and doubt but from courage and commitment. And realizing our potential and recognizing our accomplishments gives us the encouragement we need to continue forward in the face of fear.

Take stock of where you are. See what you have accomplished. And when you feel like your goals may be too far to reach, perhaps it’s time to stop looking forward and instead take a quick look back. Seeing the distance between where you were and where you are can often lift you up to where you want to be.

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In the eight months that I’ve been posting this blog, this is the first week I fear that I will fail to meet my Friday afternoon deadline. As I write, it still isn’t a guarantee. I have multiple work issues demanding my attention, a proctored mid-term for my master’s degree looming, and a beautifully pregnant wife that expects to go into labor any day. This is life in its naked glory – and everyone reading right now knows what life looks like when you strip it down.

Today my message is simple; we must give ourselves permission to try. We only stop trying if we permit ourselves to stop trying, so it stands to reason that we must also permit ourselves to keep trying. Today I am allowing myself to keep trying.

Instead of giving up and saying that my goal to post every Friday afternoon is too difficult this week, I’m going to try anyway. Instead of looking at the numerous obstacles ahead, I’m going to dare to try and navigate through them in time to reach the finish line. I don’t expect it will be pretty – I expect readers will find poor grammar, typos, and may even hate this week’s post. And if that is the case, I am genuinely sorry to disappoint. At the same time, if I can inspire even one person on the reading end of this page to give themselves permission to try, than the risks are worth it to me.

I am tired. My wife hasn’t slept well in weeks and the unborn baby she is carrying is measuring just under 9lbs. You can guess how tolerant she is of my work or school complaints right now. My 4 year old son is wonderful and equally a ray of sunshine and raging tornado every morning and every evening. Life is full of excuses and we can grab any one of them at any time. So my excuse for whatever outcome results from this post is that I… chose to try.  

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My dearest little man. I am so excited for you to discover the wonders of our world. Love, adventure, joy and discovery are just a few of the gifts that make life breathtaking. Of all the wishes and dreams that I carry in my heart for you, none is greater than my hope that you will live your life to its fullest.

Know that wishes and dreams can be elusive things, my love. They can seem tauntingly close and painfully distant at the same time. They can lift us up or break our spirits with equal ease. For many, the evasive nature of dreams can cause pain too great to bear. Others tire of the chase and accept a lesser prize, unsettled and forever caged by curiosity about what might have been. But those that can persevere through doubt, fear and uncertainty are a rare and special thing. Find those few, surround yourself with them, share life together and you will never lack the courage to keep seeking.

Each of us encounters obstacles in our journey; people, resources, even knowledge. While some hurdles can be overtaken gracefully, others may seem woefully daunting. Resources and knowledge are the simplest to overcome; they are commodities that can be grown, traded and shared if ever you are lacking. People, however, pose the most challenging obstruction to navigate. In moments when you find yourself overwhelmed by relationships, sentiments, or social expectations, always remember that people are meant to encourage one another. Those that offer shame, hate, anger or derision in place of encouragement walk a different path than yours. Trust yourself to prevail against all barriers and you will. Take heart that you will find the way and lead others along with you.

I hope to grow old with you, my boy. I hope to share in your journey and see you impact the world for good in ways that I cannot imagine. I hope to be the encouraging voice that supports your dreams and emboldens you to pursue greatness. And in the moments when I am the obstacle, I ask that you remind me of my great wish for you. And I ask that you take heart, find the way, and lead me along with you.

I will love you always – Daddy

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In the multiverse of possible life-streams I could have lived or could be living even now, I am certain that Law is the bane of my existence in all of them. Law is about passing subjective judgments based on partial inputs managed by a process open to interpretation by experts who disagree. Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure that Desperate Housewives and Survivor follow the same methodology.

Judgment does little to improve our society. If anything, it demonstrates its own uselessness through a lack of productive output. And yet even though we hate the feeling of being judged, we often let the opinion of others define our sense of personal value.

We all know the cycle. First we seek our parents’ approval, then our teachers’ approval, then our friends’ approval and so on until we convince ourselves that the approval of others is the chief objective in life. Because we carry decades of approval-based life experience, we learn to proactively fear negative judgments from our employers, partners and peers. Our fears begin to drive our actions and we quickly find ourselves doing what we think we must instead of doing what we know we must. It can be hard to maintain hope in those moments when predatory judgments pin us down like prey.

But the funny thing about predators is that they only prey on the weak. We’ve all seen YouTube videos where the prey fight back: hippos crushing crocodiles, water buffalo goring lions, and birds pecking vipers. When prey fight back they are no longer targets; they are threats. Those who judge also prey on weakness; they seek to criticize those who will not fight back. Even worse, they ignore or reject those they judge unworthy of their time. But take heart! Power lies not with those who judge but with those who choose to ignore the judgement of others.   

There will always be those who judge and those who fear judgement. The key is knowing that there is also a third option: to do neither. Focus on what you want to build and recognize that judgment cannot keep pace with achievement. Judgement destroys but community constructs. Ignore those who judge you – let them judge. Your future lies in what you have yet to build.    

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Convergent  –  \kən-ˈvər-jənt\ – Adjective: tending to move toward one point or to approach each other. EX: A tornado is powered by convergent airflow.

This week showed me the power of convergent community; a group of individuals moving toward a single point while at the same time moving toward one another. Merriam-Webster’s reference above to the power of a tornado is absolutely fitting. In a time where so much seems to divide us, I am grateful for the opportunity to see the impact when community unites us.

It all started with a simple blog post by William Mohaupt: St. Petersburg, Florida. Most people blog because they love to write. Writing for the pleasure of others is stressful and intimidating, but writing for your own joy is liberating and empowering. So was the story here, when William wrote about his recent trip to Florida and posted it to his virtual portfolio on WordPress. For a few days, his readership came in ones and twos like all new bloggers. Then on the fourth day his readership spiked into the hundreds. Days five and six continued to grow exponentially and his post blew past the one thousand reader mark. Today, twelve days later, his post has been viewed by more than 3,000 people!

A quick Google search will show that most bloggers are happy to have 200 views in a day. New bloggers often go a full year with fewer than 50 views a day. The blog you are reading has a good day when 40 viewers stop by. For those of us dedicated to sharing, the metrics are second to the purpose behind the content. That said, seeing how far your writing can reach is a powerful experience.

I find incredible encouragement and wisdom in posts by a young British blogger named Matt Kitson. While I’ve never met Matt, I am pretty sure of two things: 1) he and I are part of a convergent community dedicated to inspiring change, and 2) neither of us have seen 3,000 readers yet (MATT: My apologies if I’m wrong!). After seeing William’s post explode past 3,000 viewers, I couldn’t help but compare myself and wonder if my ‘good day at 40’ viewership was a sign of failure. Then one of Matt’s posts jumped into my head: Top Life Lessons I’ve learned from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s book. In this post, Matt summarized Arnold’s views on his blockbuster flop, ‘Last Action Hero.’ Using Arnold’s story, Matt shared the message that the, “world doesn’t care about your failure,” and instead we should look ahead to our future successes.

When we compare ourselves to others as a way to validate success or failure, we stop being part of the community. In the same way a tornado funnels into one point on the earth, all those who focus building a better future will one day converge and drive powerful change. Nobody counts the number of times we fail, or miss, or flop; the only metric that counts is the metric that shows we tried. Only those that never start are guaranteed never to see the finish line. 

So where do all these pieces converge? William wrote his blog post on May 20th. I shared it with my ‘good day at 40’ followers on May 23rd, one of which happened to tag a restaurant discussed in William’s post. The social media person for that restaurant decided to reply to my post and re-post William’s blog on May 24th. 3,000 views later, the post keeps growing. I keep posting even when I doubt myself because of people like Matt who share wisdom from people like Arnold. My viewers grow, as do Matt’s, as do William’s. And in the end, our tornado will change the world.

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.” – Mohammad Ali 

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Photo Credit: Waterman Survival

 

Drowning is one of my greatest fears in life. Imagine my surprise when I learned in 2015 that the average human being can hold their breath for nearly two minutes naturally – without preparation, training, or risk of injury. With proper training, that number can increase by 50% – 100% or more! For me, that training started with the Waterman Survival Course under the guidance of Freedive International Instructor Joe Sheridan.

Drowning is something we can all relate to, even if we’ve never found ourselves pinned underwater with our lungs buckling for oxygen. Just this week I found myself standing in the safety of my own home, drowning in the tasks I felt piling on top of me. Miles away from the nearest body of water, I was immersed in the kind of panic, fear and confusion that must come with drowning in water. In that moment I thought of Joe and my time in his course. Humble, kind and helpful, Joe is a master of slowing the world down and maximizing every breath.

Static Apnea is defined by the International Association for Development of Apnea (AIDA) as the practice of holding one breath underwater for as long as possible. While many of us may not be able to imagine this skill being useful, professional watermen around the world would disagree. Big wave surfers often find themselves held under large waves, unable to swim to the surface for minutes at a time. Spear fishermen, freedivers, boat crews, and coast guard rescue swimmers are regularly put in a position where they are submerged without oxygen, slave to the power of the ocean. In those moments, a cool head and confidence in your capacity for apnea is the deciding factor between life and death.

Joe taught me how to interpret my body’s reaction to oxygen deprivation. I learned to differentiate between the feeling of too little oxygen and the feeling of too much carbon dioxide – two very different scenarios. With the first, you pass out and your body fails to function. With the second, your body may be uncomfortable but it remains fully functional. The value in this lesson transcends water safety and brings powerful truths to how we can live our lives.

When we feel overwhelmed by life – by the demands of work, school, personal goals or family – we can find confidence in knowing that we are far from drowning. The same two minutes that allow a pro surfer to find his way out from under a crushing wave also allow us to break free of the immediate anxiety we feel during life’s most stressful moments. When outside pressures reach their peak we can pause, trust our resilience, and know that the moment is temporary. The wave will pass over and our next breath will bring clarity. From there, we can find our way back to shore.

Drowning is preventable. Water is not the threat; fear and panic are the true villains that steal life. While Joe has given countless watermen confidence in their breath, I encourage all of us to let his teachings bring us peace of mind – in and out of the water.

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There is a reason for the saying, ‘The Truth Hurts.’ The saying cuts both ways because the truth is often just as difficult to share as it is to hear. Maybe that is why the truth so often goes unspoken. But for those pursuing their ambitions and committed to their goals, there is nothing more valuable or impactful than honest, truthful feedback.

I have always been a direct person. I personally value open communication for the clarity and accountability it brings. That said, I am frequently reminded that my default is not always the default for others. Even more difficult are those moments when I advocate the truth but encounter resistance – a preference from those around me for a different version of the facts.

It is an unfortunate truth that our present world has allowed the truth to become relative. Many people readily accept alternate facts and allow their beliefs to overrule evidence. This is the new status quo. But rather than feel outraged or disheartened by the current state, I encourage us instead to redouble our commitment to speaking and hearing the truth – even when it hurts us. If we are going to shape tomorrow, if we are to build the world we dream of, we must be courageous enough to trust any pain that truth may bring.

“Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.” – Paolo Coelho 

We must be a benefit to one another. Silence, avoidance, and pretense undermine growth, development and collaboration. We cannot allow ourselves to become fearful of the truth. To do so is to accept the status quo and follow those that seed deceit. Instead, we must encourage one another through constructive feedback and admit when we are struggling with fear or doubt. Only honesty – and the trust that comes with it – can bring destructive thoughts to heel. Be strong. Be truthful. Win.

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Everyone is seeking the recipe for success. During an unexpected trip to Uruguay this week, a small-time chef with a five star smile shared his recipe with me.

Chef Luis didn’t teach me his secret in English or Spanish. He used the universal language of Paella. Paella is an ancient food, estimated to have originated circa 1000 years ago. Found in the Middle East, Europe, Africa and South America, Paella is made with a multitude of different ingredients unique to each region but with one common component – an over-sized frying pan known as the ‘patella’. When I crossed paths with Chef Luis at 10am in the riverside city of Colonia, he was pouring a 5 gallon bucket of seafood and vegetables into his patella. He smiled at me and my travel mate and told us, ‘Come back at 12:30pm – it will be ready.’

This post marks my last for the April Challenge series. Those participating in the challenge have shared trials, victories and frustrations along the way. Through it all, however, we find ourselves together now at the finish line! For some of us, we are excited that we met our original goal on time. For others, we discovered that there is power in allowing ourselves to adjust objectives midway without shame or embarrassment. And still more of us may choose to continue our April goal into May to see it to completion. Herein lies our ‘patella,’ the key universal component: growth happens during the journey, not at the destination.

Chef Luis was true to his word and at 12:30pm he handed us two small plates to sample his freshly made Paella. Gorgeous saffron-colored rice bursting with mussels, clams, squid, shrimp and fish commanded my full attention. The taste was exquisite; complex and hearty with flavors that sang of coastal waters and local farms. But the most amazing thing was that my tutor/chef had done it all without a recipe. The day’s catch, a few South American staples (corn, peppers, rice) and the steady hand of a committed cook were his script for success.

A goal, like a recipe, can be simultaneously comforting and intimidating. But like the best meals often come without a recipe, so too are the most impactful goals often borne from the heart. It is unheard of to discard a partially cooked meal because of a missing ingredient or an unexpected delay, yet we often justify abandoning our goals for exactly those reasons. Wherever you stand today with the April Challenge, know that you are the chef and the world will be inspired by your passion. Never stop cooking.

My sincerest thanks to Chef Luis of Restaurante Rio De La Plata!

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