There are not words to adequately express my thanks as I look back over the first year of the Me.Now. Movement. A year ago, I was an idealist with no experience managing a website or writing blog posts. Today, I am a published author and award-winning speaker with a new daughter, midway through my MBA. Allowing myself to value ‘Me’, and to take action ‘Now’ has given me courage and opportunity I never knew before. And for those who have journeyed with me, I know the same is true for you.

With the new year fast approaching, I am eager to share that new opportunities continue to present themselves for our community! Podcast hosts, bloggers and event coordinators have started reaching out to me for interviews and speaking engagements for 2018. One particularly exciting development happened in late November 2017 when I was approached by two separate casting agencies for large-scale, national television production projects. While I’ve always felt comfortable behind a keyboard or on a stage, the challenge of preparing myself to talk in front of a camera was humbling and unnerving. I cannot share details of either project at this point, but I promise to update this group as soon as possible after I find out if either, neither or both opportunities choose to move me forward! 

To wrap up 2017, I am excited to revisit the 4 goals we set for this first year and happy to report that 3 of those goals have been met or exceeded. I will have to challenge us further to reach new heights in 2018!

  1. Grow the movement by 1 member per week in 2017.
    STATUS: Our Movement has grown to 78 active members and more than 100 followers. That is 340% above our objective! We’ve seen members change careers, grow families, start new businesses and achieve new healthy lifestyles. The message behind the Me.Now. Movement is stronger than ever because of the courage, commitment and community this group represents.
  2. Gain exposure for the Movement on 1 public media outlet in 2017.
    STATUS: The Me.Now. Movement has gained exposure in newsprint, multiple podcasts, and two separate news media interviews! It would appear that our original goal was not as aggressive as I had thought. Once the Movement’s mission was shared, it quickly grew momentum among those eager to build a better future.
  3. Generate $5,000 in income to grow the Movement in 2017.
    STATUS: Unfortunately, this goal was missed in 2017. With just under $4,000 generated, our Movement was able to grow considerably in terms of professionalization and promotion. Despite missing our financial target, I am confident that 2018 will come with new avenues to raise the capital we need to keep growing!
  4. Write 1 blog post a week on the Me.Now. Movement website in 2017.
    STATUS: Our weekly blog posts continued through October 2017, at which point a new opportunity arose to translate blog content into book publication. After a few discouraging obstacles, I was successful in getting ‘Everyday Espionage: Winning the Workplace’ published as an eBook with a limited print edition. Many of you reading this post have that hard-copy print edition in your possession. A second installment is already in the works for 2018 and I am excited to keep growing our Movement’s legacy! 

We are one year closer to where we want to be. Even though the destination is unclear, the progress is undeniable. I continue to find my inspiration from this group and from those of you taking risks and seeing achievement along side me. For all of you, I am grateful and humbled to call you friends. 

For those exploring the Me.Now. Movement, welcome. For those ready to commit to your journey, I commend you! And for those who trek every day through the fear and doubt of accomplishment, I and others stand beside you to lift you up and celebrate your success. Journey on.

One Life. No Compromises.

 

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Espionage is predictable and ugly. Most people do not realize the repetitive nature of spying; that it is more akin to a child’s ‘color by numbers’ book than an Ian Fleming story line. Perhaps the predictability of espionage – the secrecy, the exclusivity, the winners and losers – is what makes it so interesting to people. While there may be mystery to the art of spying, there is also power in seeing the pattern. The same pattern used to pitch treason abroad is used by statesmen, salesmen and scammers to steal an important commodity from each of us: hope. But like most repetitive things, espionage is a game of diminishing returns played by people who yearn for the same changes that they fear.

The stage was set; we knew where the target would be, when he would be there, and we knew he would be alone. Our CIA lead officer was charged with making first contact. If the bump was a failure, only the lead officer’s face would be known and the rest of us could disperse unnoticed. But if the bump was a success, we were able to mobilize quickly to get cash, tech, or other support items to the lead officer at the wave of his hand.

Number 1: Contact
Espionage requires contact. Whether digital, physical, personal or impersonal, there can be no spying without contact. As a result of this requirement, spies have a different perspective on contact than the average person. An email can be exciting or suspicious; a cell phone equally convenient and risky; a relationship both a strength and a vulnerability. Over time, the constant uncertainty about contact makes spies paranoid and intensely focused on themselves – their safety, their career trajectory, their success. Yet still espionage attracts the passionate and intelligent like moths to a blue light, ignorant of fate ahead of them. Predictable, but ugly.

The operation was bare-bones; no tech, no radio, no weapons. It had to look like a casual exchange in a public setting. The target liked high-end items, things he couldn’t get in his own country, so we dressed our lead officer in finery – nothing too ostentatious, just enough to catch the eye of a narcissist. The goal was to make contact and drive for a simple exchange; a friendly conversation, a cup of coffee, maybe paying for an impromptu lunch. With the designer clothing and accessories worn by our officer, it would be easy to convince the target to let us pick up the tab.

Number 2: Exchange
Espionage requires exchange. The exchange can be anything: information, money, conversation, goods. What matters in espionage is that the exchange is unequal; that the target gives more than they receive, without realizing it. I have seen operations where foreign assets get paid in gold bars, powdered milk and even pornography in exchange for treason against their country. The unequal exchange is critical because it lays the foundation for dependence. Without dependence – some kind of perceived need – there can be no control, and every spy wants control over their asset. But control does not end at the operation. The truth is that spies themselves are also controlled; not by an individual but by the larger organization they serve. And like the target, spies are also fooled into giving more than they receive, without realizing it. Predictable, but ugly.

Success! We watched as our officer lead the target to a quiet coffee shop a block away from where they met. A quick and inconspicuous hand-gesture signaled that we needed to split-up and send one officer into the coffee shop with an envelope thick with money. A second officer would stage outside of the coffee shop and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Our faces were still unknown to the target, shades of ‘the crowd’. To the target, it seemed like a lucky day where he met a friendly guy with deep pockets in line at the weekend market. To us, the plan was working perfectly.

Number 3: Compromise
Espionage requires compromise. An asset’s worth is a reflection of his or her immediate utility, and their utility is tied to their willingness to compromise. Telling secrets is not natural to anyone; even the biggest gossips refrain from divulging everything they know. While it is nearly impossible to get someone to change their personal values, it is surprisingly easy to get people to compromise on their values when they feel the situation is lucrative and private. This is the step where spies are born. Whether considering a foreign asset selling secrets for money, a terrorism suspect naming associates in exchange for a pardon, or a CIA officer sacrificing marriage, parenthood, and work/life balance, compromise is king in a kingdom of deceit. Predictable, but ugly.

I never saw the target in person again. I continued to track him from a distance, reading his progress on the road to espionage through reports that came in periodically. I saw the lead officer far more often, coming back to the office after meetings. He would come in, remove and return all the fine things he was wearing to impress the target, and walk home to an empty apartment in the same loafers and windbreaker he wore into the office that morning. This is espionage by the numbers.

The pattern is there for us to see. It is part of our daily lives. Contact, exchange and compromise have become pillars in our professional careers, peer networks and national politics. The question is whether we find ourselves giving more than we receive and compromising personal values without even realizing it.

By seeing the pattern we give ourselves the power to stop it; to break it; to change it. We do not need to fear the change – we need to drive it. If we do not drive the change ourselves than we hand control over to others; to those who see no value in positive change. From there the future becomes less hopeful and more predictable and ugly. But when each of us commits to driving positive change in our own lives we break the cycle that leads to compromise. It is at that point that we steer toward a new and better future for this generation and the generations to come. 

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Everyone is seeking the recipe for success. During an unexpected trip to Uruguay this week, a small-time chef with a five star smile shared his recipe with me.

Chef Luis didn’t teach me his secret in English or Spanish. He used the universal language of Paella. Paella is an ancient food, estimated to have originated circa 1000 years ago. Found in the Middle East, Europe, Africa and South America, Paella is made with a multitude of different ingredients unique to each region but with one common component – an over-sized frying pan known as the ‘patella’. When I crossed paths with Chef Luis at 10am in the riverside city of Colonia, he was pouring a 5 gallon bucket of seafood and vegetables into his patella. He smiled at me and my travel mate and told us, ‘Come back at 12:30pm – it will be ready.’

This post marks my last for the April Challenge series. Those participating in the challenge have shared trials, victories and frustrations along the way. Through it all, however, we find ourselves together now at the finish line! For some of us, we are excited that we met our original goal on time. For others, we discovered that there is power in allowing ourselves to adjust objectives midway without shame or embarrassment. And still more of us may choose to continue our April goal into May to see it to completion. Herein lies our ‘patella,’ the key universal component: growth happens during the journey, not at the destination.

Chef Luis was true to his word and at 12:30pm he handed us two small plates to sample his freshly made Paella. Gorgeous saffron-colored rice bursting with mussels, clams, squid, shrimp and fish commanded my full attention. The taste was exquisite; complex and hearty with flavors that sang of coastal waters and local farms. But the most amazing thing was that my tutor/chef had done it all without a recipe. The day’s catch, a few South American staples (corn, peppers, rice) and the steady hand of a committed cook were his script for success.

A goal, like a recipe, can be simultaneously comforting and intimidating. But like the best meals often come without a recipe, so too are the most impactful goals often borne from the heart. It is unheard of to discard a partially cooked meal because of a missing ingredient or an unexpected delay, yet we often justify abandoning our goals for exactly those reasons. Wherever you stand today with the April Challenge, know that you are the chef and the world will be inspired by your passion. Never stop cooking.

My sincerest thanks to Chef Luis of Restaurante Rio De La Plata!

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History is written by those committed to the struggle, the fight – ‘La Lucha.’ While most goals do not make it into history books, there is comfort in knowing that nobody finds achievement to be easy. Meaningful goals always involve a struggle. It is in that struggle that we find courage, learn to trust our community, and expand the limits of our own capabilities.

Our April Challenge has entered its second week. For those participating, you may be feeling some of the struggle I am talking about. With nearly half the month past, progress can sometimes be less easy to quantify. My goal for April is to write 5 consecutive blog posts before April 30, 2017 that give practical guidance on how to set, maintain and achieve goals. While this post completes the third in my series of five, it has been harder for me to author this series than any other individual post on the Me.Now. blog. Organizing, researching and crafting my posts – knowing that they must all work together while also offering incremental encouragement – has taken me firmly out of my comfort zone. But despite the challenge, I remain confident that the goal was properly set (P-I-R-A-T-E) and that victory only comes after the fight!

Every goal has a midway point; the peak where the struggle is greatest and fear and doubt try to press in. As you approach your peak, know that you are not alone. I am trudging through my struggle now; hoping that this post resonates with readers, questioning if this series is making a difference, and fearful that I will fail to encourage those who trusted me with their own April goals. I am choosing to embrace the struggle; to recognize that I will learn from it only if I let it teach me. The fear and doubt that I feel are distractions. They bring no benefit and instead try to rob me of the fulfillment that the struggle promises.

Take heart during your struggle. You can achieve what you have set out to do! There are others struggling to climb the peak with you, even if you do not yet know their names. ‘La Lucha’ is hard. It is a road paved in doubt and fear. But roads are built to be traveled, not to be destinations. The place where the road ends is the goal.

Good luck, and keep fighting!

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Distractions are innumerable, ever-present and fully unavoidable. Anyone who says we should ‘avoid distractions’ is clearly not living in the same world as the rest of us. Reaching goals is about managing and prioritizing distractions without losing sight of the original objective.

Success is not found by avoiding distractions, but rather by acknowledging them for what they are – options. And like all options, distractions can be acted upon or ignored. While distractions may masquerade as obligations or demands, the fundamental difference is that distractions lose power over time.

As an example, an electric bill is an obligation. If you ignore it, it does not go away – your lights do. In contrast, an incoming call on your cell phone is NOT an obligation. If you ignore it, it will likely go to voicemail or come back as a text message. While I am not advocating that we ignore every call or jump up to immediately pay our electric bill, the comparison is sound.

When we work toward a goal we must give ourselves permission to prioritize the goal first. By doing so, we take power away from distractions before they even present themselves. Commitment to the goal gives us the space we need to see distractions as options rather than obligations. This is especially important when you encounter a distraction that could benefit your goal. For example, while cooking your grandma’s soup recipe you see an incoming call from grandma! Eureka! Answer the call and talk to the source directly – this distraction benefits your goal.

 Last week I invited anyone reading this blog to pick a goal for April. Many did, and I invite those participants to give us updates using the comment box below. For those that did not set a goal last week, I wonder how many thought, ‘I should pick a goal,’ only then to have a distraction divert their attention elsewhere. If that happened to you, that is totally okay! Share your goal now and commit to it – there are still plenty of days left to complete the April challenge.

Distractions can be overwhelming; we all know it. Rather than let ourselves feel obligated to them, let us instead see them for what they are – optional. We are obligated to our goals; the distractions are just jealous. Let them be.            

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Achievement is not a solo sport. While individual success presses well in media channels and on magazine covers, accomplishment always springs from community. For some, community is a team. For others it’s friends, family, partners or peers. Whatever form community takes, it is undeniable that our odds for success increase significantly when work together.

While many of us already know this to be true, we continue to make goal setting a private affair. We somehow believe that keeping our goals and ambitions secret will lessen personal risk; that the fear of public failure is greater than the power of public support. Nothing could be further from the truth. To demonstrate this point, I’m willing to bet my reputation and my blog!

APRIL CHALLENGE: I challenge everyone reading this blog to set a goal for April, share that goal in the comments section of this post, and leverage this blog as a forum to encourage others and find encouragement to accomplish that goal on or before April 30, 2017.

HOW IT WORKS: I will release a new post each week in April that builds on our collective effort to meet the goals we set. Using the comments section below the post, participants engaging in the challenge can communicate with me directly and/or with one another by selecting “Notify me of follow-up comments by email.” Our ongoing dialogue and goal updates throughout April will be available to anyone following the Me.Now. blog, inspiring readers and giving participants the encouragement of a supportive virtual community.

MY PERSONAL GOAL: I’ll set my goal now and enlist myself as the first participant!

GOAL: I will write 5 consecutive blog posts before April 30, 2017 that give practical guidance on how to set, maintain and achieve goals.   

SET YOUR GOAL: As the first post in the series I committed to above, I will share my suggestions on how to set goals that self-motivate rather than self-shame. I call this technique ‘P-I-R-A-T-E booty’!

P – Precise: Make the goal clear and concise using simple language. Clarity and precision make recall easy, and it helps prevent from the temptation to find/make a loop-hole as a way out.

I – Individual: Tailor your goal to yourself. When someone else sets goals for us, we do not fully invest in the goal itself. Instead, make your goal about you, empower yourself and ignore the peanut gallery!

R – Relevant: Life changes fast. The best goals make sense right now. While it’s always nice to plan for the future, it is often more rewarding to live for today. For this challenge, we’re looking to show success in 30 days or less – we’re pitching a tent here, not building a fortress.

A – Achievable: I am a sucker for setting goals that are unrealistic. I try to ‘stretch’ myself with a goal that is just beyond reach and then I feel like a failure when I fall short. Learn from me, save yourself the ‘booty’ pain, and set a goal that is achievable. One goal – make it realistic.

T – Timely: This one is a freebie! I set the timeline at 30 days for all of us. It is important to give a specific timeframe for goals so that we can plan, assess and make changes as needed. Additionally, clear start and end times give the goal boundaries and keep it from mutating into something scary.

E – Entertaining: Make it fun! If you don’t like to work out, then don’t work out. If you don’t like to eat carrots, then don’t eat carrots. If reaching the goal doesn’t bring you joy, then it’s easy to decide to stop trying. Instead, make the goal entertaining and the process will be just as enjoyable as the accomplishment.

I wish all those who join me in the ‘April Challenge’ good luck! I am already excited to see our progress over the month. Help me show everyone reading now and in the future that success comes from community!

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We all have a breaking point. We don’t like to admit it, but that doesn’t make it any less true. While common conventions are that breaking means we are weak, stupid or lazy, I’d offer instead that breaking is what allows us to shed what was and build what will be. Without breaking points, snakes would be trapped in skin too small, butterflies would wither inside cocoons, and new trees would starve in shadows on the forest floor.

I was broken this week and I am thankful for it. A confluence of illness within my household left me serving as nurse, chauffeur, and janitor for my wife and son as we visited urgent care, primary care, and the All Children’s hospital over the last seven days. My son developed pneumonia after a particularly severe allergy season. His pneumonia resulted in matching sinus and ear infections over the course of his treatment – compounding his required medications and his own discomfort. My pregnant wife, having just re-discovered morning sickness in her second trimester, picked up her own upper respiratory bug along the way and found herself undernourished and painfully congested. For seven days my family didn’t sleep, barely ate, and sought what comfort they could in the light of a TV that droned endlessly in the background. I prayed I would stay healthy long enough to get one of the two of them back to normal.

We live in Florida and are a proud sailing family. Our area, Tampa Bay, is consistently recognized in the top 3 places to sail in the United States. In 2015 I took a 7 day advanced sailing course. Expecting a cushy summer vacation, my trip was rocked by 5 days of uncharacteristically blustery, cold rain storms and rough water. Any hope of rest and relaxation was gone by dawn of the third day when I dressed in the same cold, wet rain-gear from the previous two days to embark on another day of high winds and cold spray. For seven days I didn’t sleep, barely ate, and sought what comfort I could on the high-side of the boat where the seasickness was minimized by fresh breeze. I was broken.

I recalled that boat trip in 2015 while holding my son, shivering in his 103 degree fever, sideways in front of an x-ray machine at Johns Hopkins All Children’s hospital on the 5th day of his sickness. I found a certain peace when I realized that this bout of illness, like that terrible wind and rain in 2015, would pass. All storms pass.

During a storm, things break – ask any sailor and they will agree. But rather than focus on what breaks, the defining mark of a seaman is what they choose to do when the storm ends. Some are fearful of the water for the rest of their lives. They stay in their slip when the wind is up and opt for an engine over a sail when they see whitecaps on the waves. But the courageous few, those who travel across oceans in personal sailboats through squalls and seas as tall as buildings – they experience life unbridled. Rather than fold their sails and return to the dock, they pick up where they left off when the storm hit. Nothing keeps them from their destination.

Everybody has a breaking point. The question is what will you do when you are broken and tired after the storms pass?

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Me.Now. is proud to celebrate International Women’s Day (IWD) with our weekly blog post! I am the product of 3 generations of dedicated, high-achieving women and I am hopeful that I will get the opportunity to raise a daughter to carry that proud heritage forward. IWD is committed to the goal of full gender equality for women around the world. Like IWD, Me.Now. recognizes that the only future worth pursuing is one where gender equality is beyond question.

IWD’s commitment to gender equality started in 1908 when a group of 15,000 women rallied in New York to demand voting rights, better pay and healthy work conditions. 109 years later, IWD’s goal for gender equality still has not been reached – but it is getting closer. IWD exemplifies the perseverance and the unstoppable progress that can be achieved when courage and commitment meet. Me.Now. strives to emulate the community and encouragement shared by IWD and millions of women around the world.

My father died when I was a toddler. I have no memories of him. My memories are of my mother and grandmother, who raised me together until I was 5 years old. While I admit to having the cultural advantage of being the first-born boy in a Hispanic family, my childhood was framed by responsibility and independence as much as it was by hugs and kisses. My mother and grandmother were the picture of discipline and determination. My mom, an Air Force veteran and widow, worked two unskilled jobs to support the two of us. My grandmother was born in Mexico and worked as a small business book-keeper in Arizona to build her English skills and raise her family as proud, first-generation Americans. Growing up with these two women as my guides, I had to learn to dress myself, feed myself, and care for myself from a very young age while they worked countless hours to break through cultural and gender stereotypes in the early 1980s to earn a living wage. I could not have asked for better examples of courage and ambition than my mother and my grandmother.

My mom has two sisters and one brother. In a funny coincidence, she went on herself to have two daughters and one son. Every woman in my family, from my youngest sister to my oldest aunt, fosters the tenacity and fearlessness of my mother and grandmother. As a result, our family gets to celebrate the stories of these women – all of them educated, self-made successes – and see first-hand how ignorant stereotypes crumble in their wake. Even more valuable, the men in our family have the benefit of growing up from a foundation of gender equality. A foundation paved by 109 years of courage.

My son will never know bias against women until he encounters it from his peers. When that day comes, I can only hope his mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and father have prepared him to reject sexism, advocate for equality, and advance our world to a better tomorrow.

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Me.Now. completes its first 100 days tomorrow. While those 100 days feel like they have passed somehow both fast and slow, what has been accomplished is owed to all of you who continue to participate in our growing Me.Now. Movement. It is with humble thanks that I share the benefits I’ve seen from Me.Now. in these last 99 days.

Me.Now. is built on the principle we can achieve more together than apart. This principle has manifested for me in ways I never thought possible. The Me.Now. Movement has carried my ambition to be an entrepreneur from bar-napkin doodle to reality. I’ve found encouragement, business connections and practical guidance in the last 99 days that have enabled me to develop a product and launch a business with international ties. Trust Ema LLC is primed to begin sales in April 2017 and would not have been possible but for those Me.Now. early adopters in Washington, Oregon, Arizona and Florida who lifted me up every time I stumbled. While I do not know what the future holds for EMA, I know that I am surrounded by support.

Me.Now. advocates that commitment to passion and ambition will lead to new confidence and new opportunities. I found out this week that I was awarded a full-ride scholarship to the US business school of my choice. I applied for the same scholarship last year and did not receive the award. In my previous application, I researched and prepared a package that modeled every pillar of the scholarship’s ‘ideal candidate’ attributes. I was stressed throughout the process and greatly discouraged when I found out I was not chosen. This year, leaning on Me.Now. principals, I built an application designed only to represent me, not the ‘ideal candidate.’ I felt almost no stress because I knew that my success was not dependent on the scholarship. While I do not know why my package won the scholarship this year and not last, my confidence and commitment are redoubled to both the Me.Now. Movement and my own entrepreneurial journey.

Me.Now. encourages all people to stand firm against doubt and fear. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about ditching discouragement and noted that I and other members of the Me.Now. Movement had suffered recent setbacks. As I write this post, the same members I referenced then have overcome their adversity and built bridges to new opportunities through personal courage and collaboration with other Me.Now. members. The Me.Now. Movement has seen new job opportunities, new goals, new supporters and even new babies in the last two weeks simply because we do not let doubt and fear steer our course.

Thank you for letting me share this good news through a blog usually dedicated to storytelling. I believe it is very important to celebrate the victories whether big or small and simply couldn’t let these first 100 days go by without thanking this group for what you’ve done for me and what our Movement continues to do for one another!

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